i met him sometime december last year. he took the first session of the wealth seminar my community is conducting. that very moment we met face to face after several exchanging of text messages, i quite felt some sweet feeling. well yeah, he really looks good. his eyes looks gentle, his smile speaks. nevertheless, what made me more attracted was he himself, a man seems full of mystery and still can feel the goodness and humble heart hiding inside the appearance of a confident, smart and a long hair man. i don’t know but in that moment, all i know is i want to know him more…
and our second meeting came after several months. finally, he was able to attend the gathering he has always been cancelling for so many times. that’s the second time i talk to him face to face. the long hair before became short but its fits him better. same smile, same eyes, same person i am longing to know more…
then third time came. he attended the second session of wealth seminar. since this is intensive, i was the one who handled the session. and so, we talked one on one. actually, its an answered prayer. i was praying to God before that day that if HE could give us chance to talk one-on-one for me to know him more. i guess, God favors my prayer and HE answered it the next day asap.
yes, we talked seriously, but of course, more about the wealth course. yet, i questioned him some personal stuffs that won’t give him hint that i want to know him more. but before that, i already searched from the internet about him so i knew a few of his activities and org.
it was a long, more than 3-hr talk. it was great…
during our discussion, i can’t help my eyes stare at him and lock it up and make every seconds count… take advantage of the moment to closely spot every details of his face while he’s answering some questions… every words from his mouth sounds like a melody… whenever he smiles, my heart jumps… as we go along with the discussion, as we exchange perspective, share each other’s experiences and ideas, there i knew more about him, deeper than i actually see. til i conclude, “oh, he’s the man of my dream”.
it didn’t end to that…
as i reached the work, i received a message from him giving me some compliments about the way i handled his session that really made my heart smile. but somehow, i still want to know about him, and so i did some more research… til i found out one thing that made my heart break into pieces. i saw pictures of him together with a pretty girl and they look happy being together. they look very satisfied with each other. it seems like this girl is the world for him. oh, well, the more i describe their togetherness, the more pain i felt inside of me… i guess, i should stop now.
as i examine myself, i felt this feeling same way back 4 years ago. same as my first feeling of love. i thought i would never feel this way again. its sweet yet so painful, no matter how could i try, it can never be. again, i fall into one place where no one can catch me.
by the way, while im writing this blog, this beautiful song keeps playing on my player. its a refreshing one, feels like it opens my heart to feel the love again…
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Never Let Her Go
(Bread)
Everybody needs a someone
Waitin’ to be there when
things are a-lookin’ down
So if you feel a little lonely
Go out, find your one and only
Somewhere out there
Someone will care for you and then…
Never Let Her Go
Never Let Her Go
You may wonder how you know love
When the moment comes that
you’ve been a-dreamin’ of
Well true love takes a little longer
Your heart beats a little stronger
You’ll know it’s real
Inside you’ll feel you’re
home at last… then
Never Let Her Go
Never Let Her Go
So if you feel a little lonely
Go out, find your one and only
Open your heart
Give love a start and watch it grow… and
Never Let Her Go
Never Let Her Go
My Choice 